Extending the comfort zone
Lately I had an opportunity to learn something new. This time something very different from my daily activities (IT): … renovating lavatories. At first the idea was to pay someone to do the job. Then to do it partially. And finally – to do it all by ourselves.
Interesting was to observe the mind moving from the well known territory (i.e. current state of the room) into the unknown. Removing the old tiles, guessing what is behind the wall (you never know 
, how it was all built together, etc.). A bit like dismantling a complicated toy (or a bike) not knowing what is inside, how does it work, and if it is still possible (for me) to put it together again 
. There was a moment of shifting between “I don’t know if I can do this” to “Yes, I can“. And it was pretty distinctive. Just after realizing what is behind the wall, which I partly destroyed, and how to change its contents (pipes) – at this moment there was the shift accompanied with a nice feeling of satisfaction and expected accomplishment.
It was the same feeling as when going to some mountain not being sure if it is possible to climb it (at all or in given time or before weather turns bad, etc.). At some point there is a change – from “maybe” to “YES” and that feels great. Of course there is a chance that the shift will be from “maybe” to “no“, but that is also a positive, because in both cases we do learn something which, as a process, is invaluable. This kind of experience, going beyond our “comfort zone” and eventually extending it, is very rewarding – it builds up the self-confidence and belief that “there is yet another thing I can do”
There are a few steps to extend the comfort zone.
0. Set the goal. First of all we have to know what we are going to do Knowing we can prepare ourselves for it.
1. Preparation. We can increase chance of success, by preparing ourselves and doing some research. Going on some mountain it is good to know something about the way, conditions, weather, etc. Of course, if you feel extremely confident then you can skip it. But then it is already your comfort zone, so there is nothing to gain here. And in fact neglecting preparation can strike back badly. For example if we go to well known mountain, on well known path, but we did not realize that the weather is going to be bad. In that case we take unnecessary risk. After preparation we should be more less between “I can do it” and “I can’t“. If we are convinced that we “can” – we do not challenge ourselves. If we are convinced that we “can’t” – it may end up as a self-fulfilling prophecy: if deep in our mind we don’t believe then every single obstacle seems to “confirm” the belief and the stronger the belief grows the weaker our motivation to keep going. And at some point we give up with a feeling of “I knew it“. That it why it is much better to choose goals which are only slightly beyond what is perceived as possible at the moment.
2. Plan. Once we know what we are going to achieve, and that seems maybe possible it is a time for defining a plan. It can be just any plan – simple or complex – a kind of steps we need to do to accomplish the goal. It can be as simple as “I will climb that mountain on Saturday” or a bit more detailed (“I have to buy insurance; take days off for week xx; buy flight tickets; reserve mountain hut/hotel; make a list of food for the expedition; buy missing gear;…“). Whatever form it takes – there must be a plan
3. Do it!. Finally knowing what, how and having plan there is nothing else to do than put it into effect.
4. Reward yourself. And finally, the very important and often neglected point – reward. Regardless if the goal was accomplished or not we should reward ourself. Because we tried. Because we needed a bit of courage to move beyond our “comfort zone“. Because we needed to overcome the fear, which is always there when we push (or even touch) our limits (which are in fact only in our heads). For all we learned along the way.
Sometimes the goal itself is not that important. Sometimes we set it up just to be able to draw a line on our map from where we are now to the goal and follow the path. To keep moving forward, to keep learning and experiencing the life
